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.One more reason that it's better
to be a woman than a man
.This is frightening ! Stats on a well-known group.
Lost in Translation
Lyrics 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy
(Jimi), Chain of Foods (Aretha)
What a difference 30 years can make 1970 vs. 2000
1. Name the 4 Beatles.
2. Finish the line: "Lions and Tigers and Bears, ______ _____!"
3. "Hey kids, what time is it?" _____ ______ _____ _____.
4. What do M&M's do? ___ ___ ___ ___, ____ ____ ____ ____
5. What helps build strong bodies 12 ways?______ _______.
6. Long before he was Mohammed Ali, we knew him as _______ ______.
7. You'll wonder where the yellow went,
8. Post-baby boomers know Bob Denver as the Skipper's "little buddy."
9. M-I-C, .... See ya' real soon, .... K-E-Y, _____? ____ _____
10. "Brylcream: ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ _____."
11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone _____ _____.
12. From the early days of our music, real rock 'n roll, finish this line:
13. And while we're remembering rock n' roll, try this one:
14. Meanwhile, back home in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and _____ ____ _____.
15. He came out of the University of Alabama, and became one of the best
quarterbacks in the history of the NFL. He later went on to appear in a television
commercial wearing women's stockings.
16. "I'm Popeye the sailor man; I'm Popeye the sailor man.
17. Your children probably recall that Peter Pan was recently played by Robin Williams, but we will always remember when Peter was played by ______ _______.
18. In a movie from the late sixties, Paul Newman played Luke, a ne'er do well who was sent to a prison camp for cutting off the heads of parking meters with a pipe cutter. When he was captured after an unsuccessful attempt to escape, the camp commander (played by Strother Martin) used this experience as a lesson for the other prisoners, and explained, "What we have here, ____ ____ ____ ____ ____."
19. In 1962, a dejected politician chastised the press after losing a race for governor while announcing his retirement from politics. "Just think, you won't have ____ ____ to kick around anymore."
20. "Every morning, at the mine, you could see him arrive; He stood six foot, six, weighed 245. Kinda' broad at the shoulder, and narrow at the hip, and everybody knew you didn't give no lip to _____ _____, _____ _____ _____."
21. "I found my thrill, _____ _____ _____."
22. ________ ________ said,
23. "Good night, David." "_____ ______,______."
24. "Liar, liar, ____ ____ _____."
25. "When it's least expected, you're elected. You're the star today.
26. It was Pogo, the comic strip character, who said,
24-26 correct - 50+ years old
The opening credits of The Simpson's shows Bart Simpson
writing the same sentence over and over again on a chalkboard -- the old "write it
100 times" punishment, which establishes him as a troublemaker. Each episode Bart is
writing a different sentence.
Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
*29 have been accused of spousal abuse
Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
The Top Ten Reasons Computers Must Be Female
10. Picky, picky, picky.
This is indeed worth a quick call... It'll brighten your day.
1. Dial (dial ?) National Discount Brokers at 1-800-888-3999 (it's toll-free)
2. There will be an announcement then a long pause followed by
a list of options.
3. After hearing #7, hit 7.
Every company should have an option #7.
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so how could you treat them?
If you suffer from kleptomania should you take something for it?
Can a masochist ever get a horrible disease?
How do we know "Dyslexia" is spelled correctly?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Wouldn't it be smarter to label "top secret" documents something less conspicuous like "trivial information" ?
Is Edam the only cheese that's "made" backwards?
Why is there only one company making the game Monopoly?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
What's the shelf life of a shelf?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your criminal record?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
The French cook the food
The French make the cars
1970: Long Hair
1. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
2. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
3. Most dogs are immortal.
4. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St.Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
5. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
6. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
7. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
8. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
9. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
10. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
11. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
12. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
13. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
14. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
15. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
16. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
17. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill, just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
18. Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.
19. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
22. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
23. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
24. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him hours to finish the job.
25. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.
26. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
27. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
28. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
29. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
30. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
31. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
32. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
33. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
34. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
35. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
36. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
37. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
38. No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
39. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
40. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
41. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
42. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
43. An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
44. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.